Category: Personal development

Understanding ones childhood and how it affects adult life helps us make the most of life.
We offer Childhood, adolescence and adult development training.

3 things to try when you feel misunderstood.

  1. Nature and Nature – Recognize that everyone has different traits exposed to different environmental conditions. Perspectives and reasoning will certainly differ. For example if you didn’t like something a speaker said and another liked it, it’s probably because something in their previous experiences resonates with it… you can’t fault them for that. Or, some people think it’s a waste of time to be nice, that people will take you for granted… that’s also their exposure and experience.
  2. Let your guards down – It’s easier to change yourself than to change anybody. Evaluate your own ideas and see if you have good reasons to continue to hold unto them. If you do, simply help the other person understand why you believe what you believe. For instance, you can say, “I understand that there are certain people that won’t interpret my niceties for foolishness but there are X, Y, Z, situations that have proven otherwise.” Your goal is not to change the other person’s belief but to ‘show’ what you believe.
  3. Take the third side – Step out of the situation, imagine you are a third party listening to two people disagree, what would be the neutral ground? Tie together both perspectives and say, ‘let’s both be open to these possibilities and make the most of the situations we are confronted with.” Any reasonable person should ponder over it and perhaps have a mind shift. It’s better to let the mind figure out things than to push your opinions and step on toes. You don’t want to burn bridges that don’t need to be burnt.

Two types of Leadership, based on followership.

  1. The inward leaders:
    – Appeal to the limbic brain, the part responsible for feelings, beliefs and drives behavior.
    – These kinds of Leaders always starts with the “WHY” of their endeavors.
    – Followers follow because they want to, not because they have to. They follow because they align with the vision.
    – Followers are willing to promote the vision with sweat, blood and tears (even without being asked).
  2. The outward leaders:
    – Appeal to the neo cortex brain, the part responsible for rationalizing, logic, language. This part of the brain is very analytical but does not drive behavior, trust or loyalty.
    – These kinds of leaders always start with the “WHAT” of their pursuit. If they sell a product, they will focus on the functionalities rather than the vision.
    – Followers mostly follow because they have to. Perhaps it’s an appointed leader and they have no choice but to follow.
    – They mostly do not have a clear understanding of what motivates the leader.
    – If the followers are employees, they will simply work for the pay check, not because they are committed.

People don’t necessarily care about how you get things done, they care about why you do it. Don’t waste time on followers who are interested in your pursuit for itself, focus on followers who belief what you belief and become vision helpers to implement the vision.

Martin Luther king said, “I have a dream…” he never told how he was going to achieve that dream, neither did people care, they cared about the dream.

Uwaye Soetan💌